Monday, January 09, 2006

Cue: Norman Bates' Psycho Music...

This is what I said when I opened my refrigerator door! I saw a trail of blood - er, chocolate syrup dripping down the inside of the door and onto the crisper shelves (and then onto the freshly mopped floor!) Honestly, I heard the music and thought of Janet Leigh's character in the movie. Suddenly, I was Norman Bates - knowing that something terrible had happened, and that I'd better clean it up.

Da-Daaaa-Da-Dum...Da-Daaaa-Da-Dum....(Second part of the score)

A Bit Of Triva...
Did you know that Alfred Hitchcock used Hershey's chocolate syrup to simulate blood in "Psycho?" How ingenious! I can see it now - he says "Well, let's use chocolate syrup. The bloody audience won't even be able to tell, since it is indeed only in black and white!" I can see why Norman (played by Anthony Perkins) had one hell of a time trying to clean that stuff up! I learned for myself first hand today just how viscous (and sticky) that stuff is in copious amounts!

Plan Of Attack...
My first line of defense was to grab some damp paper towels and wipe the floor with them. I then left them to catch any remaining drips that might make their way to the floor. Next, I removed the offending bottle and (the others) on the shelf that it all began on. I decided to soak up as much as I could on the crisper shelves, finding out that you really have to use several damp towels to clean it up. The stuff spreads like oil, and it's easy to make the mess even bigger, or get it on your shirt sleeves. There - the drawers are done on the outside. But what about the inside? I had a nasty feeling as I opened the one on the right - sure enough, there was a pool of syrup in the corner, and I had to clean that out too. Once that was complete, I turned my attention to the shelf in the door and wiped it clean. Next, I grabbed each bottle, cleaned off the bottom and sides, and proceeded to put them back in their prior locations. The final step was cleaning the floor, again through courtesy of a wet paper towel. I am sure that I'm going to go over it again with the mop and pine-sol because it does feel a bit sticky in stocking feet. Whew!

The Culprit?
Simple - it was a bottle of Nesquik that had a small hole in the top of the cap! How I failed to notice this when I purchased it was anyone's guess. If it wasn't for the safety seal (which I usually despise,) the store would have had a hell of a mess on their hands! I'm guessing that it fell in transit, and the little shard of plastic broke off upon impact. Now, what I'm not sure of is this - did I buy it this way, or did I drop it and cause it to break? Remember, I do have a history of accidentally breaking things (by the way, you can add a candle to the list today!) The jury is definitely out on this one.

Note to self: Next time, buy the one with the spout you can lock down and verify it through the transparent cap!

As I Was Saying...
Oh, the candle? Well, that was definitely a boo-boo. I had it sitting on top of one of my stereo speakers (yeah, I know, smart.) It was sitting on a paper towel as well. I had the music up a little loud today, and was jamming while I was cleaning. I never stopped to look at the candle that was slowly vibrating itself closer and closer to the edge, until.....

Yep, there's that old familiar sound again. It seems to re-occur time and time again within my life. I look down and see that my candle decided to commit Hari-Kari and assault one of my mic stands. The mic stand would have no part of this and decided to fight back by breaking the candle's glass jar into no less than one hundred tiny pieces! Of course I cleaned it up, watching for more shards, and admonishing myself in the process. I am so glad that I did not have that candle burning, or I would have had some serious trouble! Reason being is that within the vicinity of the incident was my guitar and amp, and my two basses, as well as my right channel stereo speaker (which is made of wood.) That stuff would have went up fast! Amazingly, I didn't cuss or scream - I just cleaned it up and went about my business...and grabbed another candle from the closet to replace the broken one. It's now sitting where the old one was. *Sigh* When will I ever learn?

On a short note: I wonder if I can sue Jeff Beck for making music so great that I was negligent of the well-being of my candle? Dare to dream, Danny! Just kidding, Jeff! YOU ROCK!!!

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