Monday, January 02, 2006

Time To Hit The Reset Button...Beeeeep!

A New Year - A New Frame of Mind
Happy New Year everyone! I hope that you had as great as a celebration as I did. It was fun playing our usual gig, but being on the bowling lanes themselves! It took a bit to get used to, but it wasn't impossible. All in all, it was alot of fun - now it's time to get back into the groove again....again....again....again...(sound of needle scratching a record.) I have to hit the "reset" button.

New Year's always messes me up. Sometimes I sleep for 22-24 hours straight afterwards. Why I do this I have no idea. All I know is when I wake up, I feel pretty "zoned." It's like being refreshed and raring to go. Sometimes it takes a while to get out of that state. Thankfully, this year I didn't do that. I didn't come home on New Year's Day until midday. I cooked myself some dinner, and that's about all I really remember. I wasn't depressed - I just decided to keep to myself. I just needed some "alone" time.

I've decided to deal with life differently. This mostly concerns dealing with other people (family, friends, etc.) I will do the best that I can, and if that's not enough, too bad! I will also NOT demean myself and beg for someone's forgiveness, nor will I pander to them. I'm tired of empty promises time and again (people promise things, but never deliver.) I guess to hell with them now. It's obvious that I'm not that important to them, so let's get on with our lives, shall we?

Life Goes On!
I send emails to people (really heartfelt stuff) and they don't bother to reply. That used to piss me off, but now I don't care. I guess we find out who are friends are (sooner or later.) My life is way too important to stop everything and wait for them. You live in your little world, and I'll live in mine - it's that simple. Succinctly put, I'm not playing the fool anymore - period. I feel better already!

Busy, Busy, Busy...
Seems I'm super busy with the music biz lately. I'm asked quite frequently to sit in or join yet another band. I think that the grand total now is four - including the one my buddy (who I already jam with) wants to put together. It's looking like a five to six night thing for me - I'm not complaining at all! It feels good to be sought after and "in demand." Apparently, this is my true calling in life - to be a musician/entertainer.

Stress and Priorities...
Sometimes it can be stressful, but at least I enjoy what I'm doing, and that makes a HUGE difference. I am trying to pace myself though, and not get overwhelmed. I do find it hard to say no, especially when so many offers are so tantalizing - top players, lots of talent, and opportunities! I will just have to be forthright and politely refuse when the need arises. And so begins the journey up the ladder...rung by step at a time.

Confidence or Conceit?
This is one area that I'm learning to discern the difference. I am actually at the point where I feel good enough that I am indeed worthy of what I have. However, I don't get cocky, or to the point where I feel that I'm the greatest. But...I do get to a point where if someone THINKS that they are better than me, I feel the need to "school" them. I guess it's my way of getting back at them. If they provoke me, I'll gladly oblige. Style, form, and versatility don't come from reading tablature in the latest issue of Guitar One, kids - remember that. Also, just because you own 14 basses and 10 amps doesn't make you great either - PRACTICE makes you great.

Get out and jam with as many peope as you can. Of course, it's scary at first, but do it for a while. You'll be surprised at what happens, and how many friends you will make along the way! I was petrified the first time I played a jam night, but you know what? It turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. My network has expanded tenfold, and I sit in with just about anyone who walks in the door and vice versa. I don't think that I'm the greatest thing since powdered milk, but I know that I don't suck either. This is a great place to be - this is about as "happy medium" as I can get right now. I can also accept the fact that not every jam is going to be perfect, and everyone communicates differently. This can create problems along the way, but true performers iron them out as they go.

Perfection, or "You Just Suck" - A Rant...
The standards that some people hold themselves (and others) to are just outright ridiculous! I mean, just because I didn't catch on to the tune right away doesn't mean that I suck! Did it ever occur to you that maybe I haven't HEARD the song to begin with? Chew on that, you acoustic guitar-toting, smug hippies! Don't bark out the chord changes to me, either - why not try shouting out a song title? If you want to do it in a different key, that's fine too, but don't be giving me harsh looks if it isn't turning out like you want it to. Remember, YOU were the one who decided to make things that much more difficult by changing the key of the song in the first place! I'm through feeling sorry for myself and not feeling good enough - it's YOUR turn!

Points To Remember...
I'm willing to be versatile and flexible, but don't bust my balls if it isn't perfect right away. Also remember that everyone has a different learning curve - perhaps yours is just a bit faster than mine. So be it - but don't you dare chastise me for not being on your level. I might just be having a bad day, and on a good day I just might "school" your ass. Be careful who you underestimate.

OK - it feels good to get that out - Whew! Maybe I should print that on the back of my business cards, eh? I probably won't get many calls then! Better to save it for the gigs and the musicians I play with. I think that I'm being reasonable and fair. I do take an interest in what you think, so if you have a comment, please fire away. Thanks!


Tabor said...

Ok, I going to take a deep breath and stick my neck out here.

Regarding emails (or any other activity), how people respond or don't respond is not something you should take so seriously. Don't hate them because they are not discerning, or prompt or interested.

Some of my closest relatives don't respond to my emails and I just don't care. I'm the one in charge, so I continue to write, or not.

I think you need to be less about sending others the "message" and more about you moving on to what you want to do regardless of the feedback you get.

OK, sorry about that. You can also just delete this, because it is all about what YOU want to do.

Danny said...


Thanks for your insight. I appreciate you telling me what you think. Admittedly, I was more than a bit peeved when I wrote that (can't you tell?) But it does show time and again that I always seem to care about what someone else thinks, or how they respond to me.

It's truly something I am working on in my life. I need to "forge on" no matter what. I've valued what others think and say for way too long, and now I'm moving to a point in my life where I am not so dependent upon that. Thanks again. :)

And no, I won't delete your comment. I have only done that once, and it wasn't one of yours.