Today I feel like like just grabbing what I need and heading for the road. I want to sell off most of my stuff and just go somewhere else. Just slip on out unnoticed. I've always wanted to just disappear for a while, and maybe resurface later with a new identity. That would involve a name change, and that's ok with me. I was seriously contemplating it after my father passes on. I'm not ashamed of my name, I'm just ashamed of my past and the mess I'm in. I feel like I have to leave it all behind and start over again. I've had other thoughts concerning that, but it's not what you think. If you've ever seen "Eddie & The Cruisers," you'll know what I'm talking about. If you haven't, then you won't.
I guess I'm depressed today. I found out that my business website is no longer functional and is pretty much history. Someone else who was in my life was paying for that, and we are no longer together, so I can understand why she would not want to this time. I can't blame her for that. Maybe it's time for a change, after all. Hell, I was even thinking of changing the name of my blog to something else - I think that the name is pretty corny and would be more appealing with a more catchier one.
Is It Neccessary?
I always feel that if I change something, that will make it better or different. Sometimes this is true, and others it is not. For instance, if it's a problem, it has to be confronted no matter what it appears to be. Honestly though, any other time, change is difficult. But right now, I would change things at the drop of a hat, regardless of the circumstances. I'm sure that it would hurt more than help me.
That's all for now...lost inspiration. I don't think it was there to begin with today.