Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Options...

I'm beginning to think that I need to get away from computers and the internet again. It's obvious to me that I have no self-discipline with them, and that doesn't help establish a sense of structure within my life. This means I am fully responsible and need to have more control over my actions.

I think that I need to get my life back together first before spending countless hours doing basically nothing but sitting here at this desk. This of course does nothing for depression either.

I am not 100% sure yet, but I might just turn this thing off for a while. Sure, it's nice to be able to communicate with people from far away, and the internet radio stations are great, but they are not a necessity for survival. Having a life with structure and self-discipline is essential, if I'm going to get better anytime soon.

Maybe I'm being too extreme again. I know that I have a habit of doing that continuously (it's either one way, or the other, and nowhere in between.) I'd like to think that I could balance and control my "insane impulses," or at least reduce the intensity of them. To be able to do that would be the greatest thing for me in my life, right now.

Sometimes I wonder, "why am I doing this? Is it really doing anything for me anymore? Wouldn't it be better just to write in my journal?" I know that this would sadden some of you if I decided not to do this anymore. I just realize that my intentions are alot different than other folks, and sometimes I feel that my blog is inferior to others. I don't have any fancy color scheme to catch your eye, just the true sincerity of what I write. Sometimes it's truly heartfelt; and other times it's rage-filled rambling. And others it's just plain nonsense, or stuff that no one understands, let alone cares about. That's okay too.

So I have to decide if I'm going to keep going...or if I'm going to fall off the face of cyber-earth. Thank you for your time in reading my posts, and for the comments. It's nice to know that people are indeed "listening."

3 comments:

Tabor said...

Have a nice vacation from blogging. After all, you should only do it for you, yourself and you (that didn't come out as I thought.) anyway, I hope you'll come back now and again. I didn't know there was a grading scale on blogs--inferior?

elvira black said...

Danny:

I, too, have an internet addiction. It drives my boyfriend crazy. He is constantly yelling at me: get off that damned toy before I rip the plug out of the wall...

He's jealous, because it is true that I'm glued to this thing quite a lot (I love the name of your blog, btw--lol).

And it's true, I should get out more...but I like to think it's possible to achieve a balance (isn't it?)

So I hope you won't drop out of the scene--maybe you can taper off rather than going cold turkey?

ariadneK, Ph.D. said...

Yep Danny, I 100% agree with Elvira; even if you post only once a week, it would be great to keep up with your progress...and by only allowing yourself to post in a limited maner, it would be forcing yourself to impose control on the internet use, making you feel even stronger (rather than feeling like you are running from it?). Just my random 2 cents, take it for whatever or nothin at all. :-)

ariK